May 31st, 2025
I bought a book.
I know, I know… a book. Shocking.
But this little book caught my eye on a day I wasn't looking.
This little book may just be the little spark I didn't know I needed in my life.
The book is called The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy.
A beautiful illustrated book of sketches, quotes and inspirational moments that pinched my heartstrings.
Although every page moved me, there was one I read on this day that stood out to me as a freshly crowned fifty year old woman.
The line is spoken by the little boy to the mole and says “I wonder if there is a school of unlearning”
I read this page over and over again.
It must have done something subconsciously, because during my lunch break the next day, I broke down to Mark.
No idea where the tears came from, but a deep unsettled feeling of discouragement sort of devoured me and took an hour to shake out of.
I've never been one to sugar coat problems, or hide the fact that I constantly struggle with self doubt and second guessing myself… both in the barn and my life in general.
But what I haven't openly admitted, is the mental gymnastics I put myself through when I'm sharing all this online.
Every job I do, I envision a peer jumping in on the comment section telling me how I'm doing it wrong, so I immediately add a dose of self-deprecation to dismantle a comment that at this point is only a potential one.
Every time I leave the house with my roots showing, I now find myself running back in to spray stupid root touch up colour to hide the fact that I'm privileged enough to age, because I predict the passive aggressive commenters advising me to ‘take better care of myself’ or my husband will leave me.
Not to mention the online trolls, porn bots and scammers trying to hijack my channel and confuse my actual true fans.
And finally, the feeling of becoming irrelevant.
The worst part??
I brought this all on myself.
As one commenter suggested, I deserve it and should expect it by putting myself online.
So when I read this one little phrase on Wednesday night, something finally shifted.
Is there a school of unlearning?
If so, sign me up.
I want to unlearn staying small because I was told once that I was a lot.
I want to unlearn the constant erosion of my confidence because I'm repeatedly told I'm wrong.
I want to unlearn the self-doubt and second guessing because I always felt like the dumb one growing up.
I want to unlearn the pressure put on women to look never their age… when we're young, we are told to look older. When we are older, we are told to look young.
I want to unlearn constantly raising the bar in business, because when is enough, truly enough?
I want to unlearn the fear of becoming irrelevant, because if I'm becoming irrelevant, it must mean at one point I was relevant and meant something to someone.
I want to unlearn so many things that I've ingested over the last fifty years of my life that are intended to make me a lesser version of me.
Instead, I want to learn how to regain my confidence again.
I want to learn how to trust myself, and be ok with failure.
I want to learn how to once again be comfortable in my own skin and stop feeding into our toxic beauty standards.
I want to learn to celebrate my wins, and be ok with status quo instead of always striving for more.
I want to learn how to not be caught up with relevancy, but to fully embrace legacy.
Because another quote from this heartwarming little book said this…
“what do you think success is?" asked the boy
“to love” said the mole.
…and isn't that the truth of it all.
Perhaps to succeed in the school of unlearning is actually learning to love.
44 comments
Sandy,
He has a second follow up book coming out in October. I like seeing his Instagram page where he posts something pertinent almost every day.
Hi Sandy.
Your amazing. Your strong and beautiful. Don’t listen to all those jealous people out there that don’t have any idea how hard it is to be you. I’m 73 yrs old and I’ve worked all my adult life, but not nearly as hard as you. Great job. Keep your head high and let those sad little people stew. Their jealous and don’t have the gumpsion to accomplish anything but complain.
Love you. God bless you and yours.
Rose Bowers
Oh Sandi, I am glad you came across that precious book. I came across it a few years back and bought several for each of our adult children and a few dear friends. It didn’t resonate with them at the time but I know the darling artwork will draw them in one day and they will come across the precious bits of wisdom. I liken the book to an adult “ Winnie the Pooh”. I came across it after Covid which immediately followed the scariest step of my life….. divorce after 38 1/2 years marriage, selling the hobby farm my kids grew up on and moving 800!miles away. Our Midwest rural community didn’t have many options for work. All three of my kids lived in different states. Each of my three siblings lived in three more different states. Covid was hard on my Midwest friends and church family many lost including my BFF ‘s husband. First time as friends we couldn’t physically be there for each other physically. My daughter in law’s mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, a grandson 12 hours away was diagnosed with Duchenne’s muscular dystrophy, my son in law 8 hours away (also a double lung recipient) was diagnosed with cancer, my goddaughter miscarried twin sons after her father died from COVID. I was so overwhelmed, felt like such a failure, battling my own complex health issues…. I felt stupid, unworthy in every aspect of my life and some how responsible when that precious little book was shown on CBS Sunday Morning. The next treasure my new partner and I came across Sheepishly Me. I’m a woman of Faith. My prayers never stopped but I still felt adrift until that precious little book and this big hearted shepherdess on YouTube.
Your transparency, your entire family’s rural ag work ethic and modesty in your self worth helped ground me….helped introduce my partner …..a city boy to my 4th generation country rural mindset learn about each other.
Bless each of you. Please don’t let the bullies get you down…. mean people are often hurting or self doubting…. just like why animals strike out. I’m sorry for our stupid political gymnastics in the USA. Thank you for being my emotional support system or rather a significant part. You have no idea what gifts your family gives so many🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰