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February 2023

We did it y'all.
 We conquered the ever dreaded January.
The month where we take down the pretty lights (mine are still up, for the record…) take down the Christmas tree and decorations, and well sort of take away that festive feeling.
Some use January as a re-start… I'm more of a ‘September is enough change for me’ kinda girl. 
I tried to use January as a reprieve, and for the first time in forever, took a LONG break in the uploading schedule.  
It took this break to realize the Youtube channel is MUCH more than a social media sharing platform for me. 
 It's a living journal.
A place where I can extract my every thought and feeling…even when most of these never make the final cut.
When I didn't pick up the camera, I felt like I was not only missing a huge part of my routine, but also a huge part of my being.
A place to talk it out, cry it out, curse it out or laugh it out when life and farming become a bit much.
So what did I do with ALL that free time you ask?  
I was asked a while back to speak to a sheep farmer group in Saskatchewan, and at the time, it felt like I had months to prepare… 
Enter January, and those months had become days.
And the race was on to put together two presentations that I now also had to work up the nerve to present.
My presentation had me going back in time, and revisiting both my journey here on social media and my journey as a sheep farmer.
A humbling thing this was.
Writing down (and presenting) all the things I've done wrong.  
But what it also forced, was the acknowledgment of how these failures led to learning and improving and there was no denying I had made some serious strides.
I am one who when I reach a goal, I raise the bar, so it never really feels like I've accomplished anything.
Very little celebration.
I often wonder why that is… Was it a learned trait? Or is it a defense mechanism to prepare me for the next failure… 
And it took preparing this presentation to really see this toxic trait, but now I need to figure out how to combat this.
Saskatchewan, you have once again reminded me how much I love your province.  But maybe more, the people within it.  Thank you for hosting me, and spoiling me for three days!!
As for the rest of January, I had the pleasure of welcoming Michael from Flockwatch for a few hours and we were able to run some sheep through and do some mock events (so I could ask a million questions…)
Charlie was here not once, but twice this month shearing some lucky ladies… which means I've got a BIG lot of wool to get made into something fun this year!
The final lap of January took a bit of a personal turn unfortunately.
Our Jess once again noticed some symptoms she experienced just over a year ago and headed to the family doctor to get checked out.
A same day CT scan showed that her instincts were correct and she got booked into surgery this past weekend.
She is currently recovering, with mama bear doing a lot of hovering.  She's slowly moving a bit better and last night she said the pain was more tolerable… all progress.
But this caught us all off-guard… as most health scares do.  
And although we know what we are dealing with this time, it's still a worry knowing this may be a part of Jess's health journey looking ahead.
As a parent, you NEVER want to see your child in pain, no matter what their age.
It takes moments like this in our lives to fully see what others experience daily.  The little things we take for granted… or the big ones, like our health.
So… bring on February.  
A short little month that by its end will hopefully bring us a recovered Jess and a big sigh of relief.
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